oxfordmom
05-09-2008, 12:36 AM
Hi everyone...
I don't post much but I have a question about how to deal with a child problem, thought someone may be able to help here.
My children began a new school this year after a move. My 8-year-old made a best friend off the bat....a foster child. These two hit it off right away, both girly, rambunctious kids who were inseperable.
Last week my daughter attended her best friends goodbye party because her friend and her two sisters are being returned to the family.
And here lies the problem....my daughter is constantly talking about how her friend does not want to go to live with her father. The day after the party her friend went to court where she was told (this is being told to me by my 8-year-old....I don't think it is my place to ask the foster family questions) that she will not be allowed any more contact with her biological mom. During the past school year my daughter has told me her friend has had contact through supervised visits with her mom and that her mom is trying to get her back. So all of a sudden there will be no more contact with mom, ever, and she is going to live with her father....I'm assuming, just assuming now as I truly do not know, that there was some sort of abusive and/or neglect thing going on, the mom had stipulations to get the children back....and failed so all contact has been terminated. Again, this is just me assuming what happened.
My daughter is very upset as her friend constantly talks about how her father lies about her mom and she does not want to live with her dad but wants her mom. Perfectly normal in a situation like this with a child of this age....but what do I say to my very upset child? Not only is she dealing with the loss of her best friend....but she is also dealing with her friend being depressed over the loss of a mom and going with a dad she doesn't seem to know.
I bought those necklaces....you know the one's that say best and friend that is two parts of a heart that each can wear on a chain as a present for the going away party. This is such a sweet girl...during sleepovers she is such a giggly little thing (until 2am I might add!)....her foster mom said that my house is the first ever for a sleepover in her little life. My daughters birthday party was a first for her. I think you get the point. She finally had a normal life....and now it is being taken away.
This is affecting my daughter and it is haunting me. I truly don't know what to say to my daughter to comfort her because I truly don't know if this is a good situation she is going to.
Any advice here???
Thanks!
I don't post much but I have a question about how to deal with a child problem, thought someone may be able to help here.
My children began a new school this year after a move. My 8-year-old made a best friend off the bat....a foster child. These two hit it off right away, both girly, rambunctious kids who were inseperable.
Last week my daughter attended her best friends goodbye party because her friend and her two sisters are being returned to the family.
And here lies the problem....my daughter is constantly talking about how her friend does not want to go to live with her father. The day after the party her friend went to court where she was told (this is being told to me by my 8-year-old....I don't think it is my place to ask the foster family questions) that she will not be allowed any more contact with her biological mom. During the past school year my daughter has told me her friend has had contact through supervised visits with her mom and that her mom is trying to get her back. So all of a sudden there will be no more contact with mom, ever, and she is going to live with her father....I'm assuming, just assuming now as I truly do not know, that there was some sort of abusive and/or neglect thing going on, the mom had stipulations to get the children back....and failed so all contact has been terminated. Again, this is just me assuming what happened.
My daughter is very upset as her friend constantly talks about how her father lies about her mom and she does not want to live with her dad but wants her mom. Perfectly normal in a situation like this with a child of this age....but what do I say to my very upset child? Not only is she dealing with the loss of her best friend....but she is also dealing with her friend being depressed over the loss of a mom and going with a dad she doesn't seem to know.
I bought those necklaces....you know the one's that say best and friend that is two parts of a heart that each can wear on a chain as a present for the going away party. This is such a sweet girl...during sleepovers she is such a giggly little thing (until 2am I might add!)....her foster mom said that my house is the first ever for a sleepover in her little life. My daughters birthday party was a first for her. I think you get the point. She finally had a normal life....and now it is being taken away.
This is affecting my daughter and it is haunting me. I truly don't know what to say to my daughter to comfort her because I truly don't know if this is a good situation she is going to.
Any advice here???
Thanks!